My failed attempt at scootering

I had arrived in Koh Phangan for the full moon party and was just relaxing for the remainder of the day when this German girl asked if I wanted to ride to the night market with her and meet up with some friends. You can't turn down the chance for a street food market in Thailand. So we scootered off.

"Have you ever driven a scooter before?"

"No, but I would like to try at least once before I leave Thailand." I had wanted to try since I had arrived in Chiang Mai a month before but had been to chicken to get on one and drive around in Thailand's version of traffic. There aren't really concepts of lines on roads, overtaking on hills and around sharp curves isn't deemed unsafe here, and scooters just wizz in and out of cars any way they find. It's amazing that I only saw three accidents my whole entire time in Thailand. Everyone drives like a stunt devil and it's sometimes fun to watch.

Later, after we had eaten, Hanna asked if I wanted to learn how to drive a scooter. "It's easy, really! We can try after we finish eating."

I was a little nervous, because I know using your feet for balance are apart of scootering and I'm short. But the lesson was happening and I was hoping for the best.

Hanna found us a little side road with a dead end. All that was there was a little security booth with a few Thai people and a parked truck off to the side. Perfect spot for a quick lesson.

"So, you turn the key and push this button to start. You have your gas here and these are your breaks. Before you start moving, keep your feet on the ground for balance until you have a good speed. And that's it. Really easy!"

I turned on the scooter and got on. I had barely pulled the throttle just a little bit and lurched forward at way to quick of a pace for my comfort. I let it loose and tried again. This time was better and I was able to move forward at a comfortable speed until I reached halfway down the road. There were three massive ropes across the road, blocking me from the end. I wasn't ready for bumps yet, so I started backing up and put my feet on the ground. Hanna was walking towards me and as I looked up at her to say how it wasn't that bad, I speed forward. In my panic, I couldn't understand why the scooter did that! It happened twice more before Hanna finally reached me. I looked at her again to stay I didn't want to try anymore but as I was shifting my feet to balance the bike, it started to fall over on top of me towards my left side! I couldn't hold the weight of the bike on just the ball of one foot and I was too short to have both feet down.

The next 30 seconds are a bit of a blur. I manage to hop off the bike just in time but as it was going down, I grabbed the handles and the scooter shot forward at top speeds with me still hanging on. I think I may have been screaming and Hanna telling something, but I have no idea. I just know that the scooter was shooting straight towards that parked truck and the scooter was a rental. With every ounce of strength I could muster, I jerked the bike away from the truck and held on. Spinning around and around in circles right in front of the truck, it finally dawned on me what Hanna was shouting.

"Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!"

I realized that it had been me the whole time, pushing down the throttle. I let it go and the bike immediately stops. I back away from the bike slowly, like a rabid dog. Hanna straightened the bike up and we both examined it. Amazingly, there wasn't one bit of damage on that bike. And even though we were inches from the truck, no damage came to that either. I laughed nervously and looked at Hanna.

"Are you alright?"

"I think so, but I am NOT getting back on that thing to drive. I think I'm good." I was shaking and still panicked, thinking how bad that could have been.

Then, I heard laughing and snickering, looked over and saw the few Thai people in that booth laughing. Mortified, I just looked away when one of the guys shouted at us in Thai. Thankfully, Hanna responded because I couldn't get words out.

"You had some stunt devil moves there, getting the bike to just spin in circles."

I looked at her and we busted out laughing. After making sure we were all ok, we got on the bike (with me as passenger of course) and laughed our way back to the hostel, recounting what had just happened.

"I thought it would be easy, but I suppose that's because I've riden a scooter before. And I don't want to be rude, but you're kind of short."

I have no doubt in my mind it had to do with because I was short. Every time I had put my left foot down, my right hand would slide down on the throttle to compensate for my lack of balance, which shot me forward but because I wasn't used to a throttle being the actual handle, I didn't realize I was doing it or how to stop. When the bike started falling, I had grabbed on to the handles tightly, and the angle at which the bike was falling, had my hand gripping the throttle to the max. So it was me all along that caused the bike to shoot forward.

Moral of the story for me: Do not drive a scooter!